What Now?

      I have heard of blogging and have seen some by people that I know.  Since I am in flux, as usual, I hope I can use this as a tool to help me think clearer and make appropriate decisions.
      I have always been unsure of the decisions I make.  I try to use the Bible for a guide, pray, and think how and what is the right way to go, do, be.  But, I feel I am handicapped.  I know who and what I don't want to be and do, I have seen enough that most of the time, I can see what I don't want to do, but I am so afraid that what I do will not be right, that I don't see clearly or process the data/information correctly. 
     I don't know what is "normal", I've never been normal, lived in a normal situation.  Therefore, I can't see situations that are normal, I don't react or respond "normal".  I see everything filtered thru tinted lens. Not just colored, the glass is wavy, bubbled, cloudy.  EVERYTHING; every situation, every action/reaction, every thought, every interaction.
     I feel I have to think my response, spoke word, body language, action, reaction, interaction or inaction for how it is going to impact those I love and are responsible/responding to.  BUT everything I see or do is filtered/distorted by these abnormal life experiences.
     SO HOW DO I KNOW???   WHAT NOW????
     It is just easier to be alone and not interact.  More comfortable.  Quiet.  Peaceful.  I crave PEACE.